


Switch and Swap

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, M/M, Nothing big, and stuff like that, just bobby being alive, mostly the same, small changes, spoilers for season eight, up to taxi driver
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:25:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a hard day of witch slaying, the Winchester boys and Castiel head to another crappy motel for a long days rest. When they wake up, however, they notice something's not quite right. Things progressively get worse from there.</p><p> </p><p>Effective 5/3/13: Hiatus<br/>Sorry guys, I'm having to study for my upcoming IB exams and such. I don't know when I'll finish this crack of a fic, but hopefully it will be soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 23

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting here and first time writing a fic with fictional characters. The chapters are going to be short here because whenever I write them down, they seem long to me. Sorry in advance for any mistakes, I comb over my stories a lot and tend to miss a few grammatical errors and such. There is cussing in this fic, so be warned. Enjoy, and feedback on how I can make this better is welcomed!

Dean walked in the crappy motel room him and Sam had found after driving all night. It was just like every other motel they had stayed in, it smelled faintly of piss and carpet cleaner. It was a themed motel, too, Betty Boop in all her black and white glory covering the two headboards of the beds in the two bed one bath room they rented.

 

Sam was right behind him, carrying their small duffels with him. The head wound on his forehead had finally stopped bleeding and Dean could tell that there were more injuries than Sam was letting on, but he would let his baby brother have his pride. "Home shit home." Dean said as he plopped down on one of the beds, claiming it for himself.

 

Sam just raised both his eyebrows in agreement, his eyes betraying just how tired he truly was. Dean didn't blame him, though. They both had been through a rough week. It was hard enough to get the hell out of dodge when the cops were on your tail, but for the past five days a witch wanting revenge had been tracking them.

 

It was bad enough when it was just one, but this witch had gotten a whole coven to track the two brother down. It was a fight that lasted much longer than both of them wanted, and the only reason they were in this crappy motel room rather than becoming sacrifices was because Cas had decided to show up at the last second and save their asses.

 

Not that Dean wasn't glad that Cas was there, they hadn't seen nor heard from him in nearly a month, but it was odd that he had known just where to appear, especially when he was the one who took them both off of angel GPS. If Sam thought it was weird, he was keeping that thought close to his chest, because through the whole car ride all he did was sigh and try to stop his forehead from bleeding all over the Impala's leather seat.

 

Dean had just taken his shoes off and had gotten up to go get him and Sammy something to eat before they went to bed when Cas materialized in front of his face. Like, right. In. Front. Of. His. Face. "Uh, Cas." Dean said, his eyes searching for a safe place to look.

 

"Yeah, Dean?" Cas asked, his voice, bless him, was filled with innocence.

 

"Remember our talk about personal space?" Dean replied, knowing Sam was off to the side holding in his laughter. Cas was just looking at him, his blue eyes wandering his face as he processed what point Dean was trying to get across. "Bubble." Dean prompted when Cas still hadn't moved. It wasn't like Dean could move either, though, Cas was blocking his only way out, the bed being right behind him, he could feel the edge of the mattress pressing at the crook of his knees.

 

"Right." Cas responded, stepping back an inch, as if this would placate Dean. Dean sighed and grasped Cas around his shoulders, forcibly moving him out of his path. "Sam, shut your cakehole and tell me what you want for dinner." Dean growls at the visibly shaking with effort little shit of a brother he has. Cas perks up at the mention of food.

 

"Can we go get burgers? This abdominal region of my vessel still remembers fondly of the time it was under the influence of Famine." Cas asks, licking his lips in anticipation of eating again. Dean looked over at Sam, wondering if it was okay, and when Sam shrugs back, Dean leads Cas to the door. 

 

"Since when did you want to eat again Cas?" Dean inquires as they get into the Impala. Dean notices that his baby was low on gas and needs to feed her as well. "I do not know particularly when my vessel started craving red meat again, I just know that it is ravenous." Cas replies, staring at the road ahead of them as Dean pulls out of the motel parking lot.

 

"You know you can call yourself something other than 'it' or 'my vessel', right? Even if Jimmy Novak is in there, right now you are you." Dean tells Cas, a faint smile of amusement on his face as he tells the angel this.

 

"I know this to be true, Dean. I just do not feel it is right to forget that Mr. Novak is in here, never dying." Cas looks at Dean as he says this, a guilty look flashing in his eyes. Dean knew not to say anything else, throwing the rest of the drive to the nearest burger joint in silence. 

 

It was fortunate that there was a gas station right next to The Rusty Burger, where there unfortunate meal would come from. As soon as they were done ordering, Dean pulls the Impala in a vacant gas pump at the station, knowing he really shouldn't have, but having no other choice, than to leave Cas to collect their two burgers and one salad. It was either Cas collect the food, or Cas get the gas, and Dean knew that Cas getting the food was the lesser of two evils. 

 

Lady Luck seemed to favour Dean at the moment, for as soon as he was done paying for the gas, Cas comes out with two food bags, no scratches- or angry strangers trailing him -in sight. They both got in and left to go back to the motel. Dean's stomach reacting to the intoxicating aroma of the burgers sitting in Cas' lap. He eyed the bags, wondering if it would be wise to steal one.

 

It was as he was judging which bag held his burger and which held Sam's prissy salad that he realized that there were too many bulges in the bags to have just been two burgers and a salad, which only meant one thing. "Cas, tell me you didn't order more burgers as I was getting gas."

 

"Okay, I did not order more burgers while you were purchasing gas, Dean." Cas replied, and if it were anyone else, Dean would smack them. He decided to just sigh. "How many?" He asked, steeling himself for the answer. The car plunged into another round of silence, but this time Dean was having none of this.

 

"How many extra burgers did you order Cas?" Dean didn't quite shout this, but he did raise his voice.

 

"23." Cas resigned, at least having the decency to look ashamed. Dean almost ran them off the road. 

 

"Motherf- Cas!"

 

"I apologize Dean. This vessel of mine was famished, and so I thought one burger would not satiate him."

 

Dean blew smoke from his nostrils, not having it in him not to look at Cas without trying to strangle him. "Did you at least see if they put in Sam's salad?" He wondered.

 

"The barmaid did indeed add Sam's salad." Cas confirmed. Dean eased up on his tension a little, now that he knew that at least he wouldn't have to deal with an upset, panies-in-a-twist Sam.

 

"Next time ask me if we can get more than two burgers if your that starving. Damn Cas! 23 extra burgers? What the hell were you thinking?"

 

"Well, I wanted to get more, but I decided it would be best to stop at 23. That way there would be an even amount of burgers, the total coming to 25, if my math is correct." Cas rambles and Dean really has to stop himself from at least slapping Cas.

 

The two get back to the motel without any further incidents, Dean refusing to acknowledge Cas' presence at the moment. He practically shoved Sam's salad in his face before snatching two burgers from the bag and landing butt-first on his bed. 

 

"Did something happen?" Sam asked as he read the tension between the two.

 

"Why don't you tell him Cas?" Dean asked, angrily biting into one of the burgers and damn if that wasn't one of the best mom and pop shop burgers that he ever did have. Sam turns his puppy eyes towards Cas, knowing not to disturb Dean when he was in a foul mood. "Cas?" Sam prompts him.

 

"I took the liberty of adding more than the designated burger number to our order." Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

 

"Tell him how much by, Cas." Dean ordered, almost done with the first burger, which was dripping a little tomato juice onto his hand. 

 

"23." Cas said again. The look on Sam's face made Dean almost relax all the way. He didn't know why it bothered him that much, but damned if it did. 

 

"Wh-uh, wow." Sam spluttered, still holding his salad in his hands. 

 

"Eat up, Sammy. It's lights out in ten." Dean told him, moving on to the next burger he filched from the bag. Cas didn't look like a big eater, but from Dean's count, he was already on his fifth burger. He wasn't kidding when he said his vessel was ravenous.

 

Sam ate as slow as possible, saying it made him fuller faster, or some crap along those lines. All Dean knew was that he was pissed, and he didn't want to take it out on Sam or Cas. So as soon as he finished the last of his second burger, he quickly went through his night motions, taking off his jacket and placing it on one of the motel chairs.

 

"And, Cas, don't think that we won't discuss what happened today, tomorrow." Dean said as he laid out on the bed, which, right now, felt like it was a fucking cloud, that was how tired he was. Cas didn't even register this, downing another burger at a record speed.

 

"He looks like an owl with his prey," Sam mused as he put away his salad, making like he was going to bed too. Dean didn't stay awake long enough to ask what Cas was going to do about sleeping arrangements, not that he cared at the moment.


	2. Idjits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio wake up to find things not right, not right at all. Dean realizes what Cas was talking about the night before and Sam gets a taste of the short life, while Cas, well, he's still Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize profusely if anything is confusing. I will be happy to explain anything you want if you ask for it.

When Dean woke up, he knew something was off immediately. For one, he had a killer headache, and the other was that he could no longer feel the cloth of the bedsheets underneath him. He opened his eyes to see that he had fallen off the bed some time in the night and had wound up with a face full of carpet that smelled like piss.

 

His back felt all stiff from lying there all night. Straightening and stretching, Dean let go off all the kinks in his spine. "Ah jeez-" He stopped, knowing things were really off now. Why was he wearing Cas' trench coat? And, did he just speak with Cas' voice? What was going on? Dean got up and looked down at himself and realized that, he was indeed, in Cas' body. "Motherf-"

 

"Cas?" He heard his own voice. He looked to see himself propped up on his elbows on the bed. "Uh...yes?" Dean answered, not sure what was going on, but not wanting to admit that something was off. It was then that his body looked down and shrieked. "I've shrunk!" He exclaimed.

 

"Sam?" Dean asked himself, and, okay, this was totally freaky. "Oh shit! I didn't just shrink! I turned into Dean!" And, yeah, this was not helping his headache or his mood.

 

"And, what, pray tell, is exactly wrong with me?" Dean asked, forgetting for a moment that he was in Cas' body. His own face turned in surprise. Sam looked closer at Dean and his jaw dropped to the floor. "Dean?" Sam asked him, his voice going all squeaky, and that was a new one on him. He didn't even know his voice could go that high.

 

"Yes, it seems-" Dean was interrupted by Sams' body. "Why am I staring at my vessel?" And yup, that was definitely Cas alright.

 

"It seems to me that we have switched bodies." Dean said, surprised that he was remaining calm. Apparently he wasn't the only one to notice, though, because Sam was looking at him as if he had grown wings or something, which was totally possible in this body.

 

"This is not good. My grace could tear up your body Sam." Cas stated, and he was right. That would not be good. But then Dean thought of something.

 

"No, but, wasn't he meant to be Lucifer's angel condom, you know, Luci would wear him to prom and all that. So he should be able to handle you." Dean retorts, smiling at the fact that he thought of that.

 

And there goes Sam staring at him again. "I'm not used to hearing Cas speak like that, this is totally bizarre."

 

"You're telling me. I didn't even know my voice could get that high." Dean told himself and this was becoming a problem, because his head now felt like somebody was splitting it with an anvil. Did Cas feel like this all the time? 'Cuz if the answer was yes, then no wonder he frowned all the time.

 

"Man Cas, how do you deal with this mondo headache?" Dean asked, his eyes blurring the motel room around him. Cas frowned and turned Sam's puppy eyes on him. "I've never gotten a headache befo-" He grew silent, his face palling visibly, and that could not be a good sign. "Cas?" Dean asked him.

 

"It might be that Jimmy Novak senses that he is no longer being suppressed and now his conscience is coming forth." Cas muttered, frowning even more as he thought about it.

 

Sam, meanwhile, was twisting and bending and touching all over himself. "Uh, that's a rental, so don't scratch it." Dean told himself. Sam looked over at him, a blush materializing on his face, and Sam had to get out of him fast, before someone saw him like this.

 

"What do you think could of made us switch bodies?" Sam asked, trying- and failing- at his usual puppy eyed look. "Sam, I can't do puppy eyes, so stop it. And I'm pretty sure it had something to do with those witches we killed yesterday." Dean said, his face scrunching up in pain at the pain coming from his head.

 

There was a sudden sharp stab that felt like someone punched the inside of his left eye and down he went, Sam and Cas coming to his aid. "Are you okay, Dean?" He heard Sam ask him. He felt himself being slowly lowered onto the bed.

 

"It's getting worse." He told them between gasps of pain, feeling like something was trying to get out of his head, which, if Cas' theory was correct, then was actually true. This was not going to be a fun day. Dean figured Hell was sounding pretty good about now, as another sharp pain came.

 

It felt like someone was boiling his brain, and then, with the pain spiking to its height, it slowly dissipated. **_What the, why are you here?_ ** He heard in his head. Dean was so shocked he screamed aloud.

 

"What was that?" He asked looking around as if to see someone there. **_I'm inside your head, stupid._** The voice came again, and this time he knew this was Jimmy Novak.

 

"What happened?" Sam asked him. Dean just waved him off. **_Now I want to know why you are in this body!_** Novak demanded, his thoughts sounding just like Cas that it was scary. "Some witches put a hex or curse or something on us and now we switched bodies." Dean told him aloud, which made Sam stare at him weirdly again, and dammit this was getting freaky.

 

"Novak is sentient, isn't he." Cas said without question. Dean just nodded. ** _Is this permanent?_** Novak wondered. "Good point. I don't know." Dean answered out loud again.

 

To the other two he told them what Novak was asking. **_Can you find the solution? This is unpleasant._** Novak was getting sassy. "Yes, yes. I guess we could go to Bobby's and see if he knows anything about this." Dean said, filling in the other two about what Novak said. Dean felt like a translator and hated talking this much, especially since he still wasn't used to Cas' gravely voice coming out whenever he uttered a syllable.

 

Sam agreed instantly. "But I want to know one thing. Should we call each other by our bodies, or by our souls?" Dean wanted to smack him.

 

"By our souls you moron." He responded, grabbing the Impala's car keys and heading out, remembering that he already had his shoes and coat on. And, upon sniffing it, it seemed as if Cas never even washed this thing. ** _He doesn't, and it is disgusting. I have told him before to wash it, but does he listen? No._ ** Novak supplied for Dean, making him wonder just how much Cas and Novak talk, if more than just if Cas should opt for hygiene.

 

"To Bobby's." Dean said, before getting into the Impala, putting in a cassette and waiting for Sam to scramble to gather Dean's things and Cas getting used to his non-angelic vessel. Technically, Cas was still an angel, him having his grace and all, but he wasn't used to such a tall vessel, and Dean could tell, because he kept bumping into things and such. **_He always was clumsy while he learned how to steer me._** Novak told Dean, making Dean smile even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it is so sort, I will make them longer. I just can't tell how long the chapters are going to be until I add them here, so bear with me.


	3. Idjits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby is having none of their shit, and Cas still doesn't know how to knock.
> 
>  
> 
> Quote:  
> "They were imitating the pizza man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be updated Sunday (trying to do an every other day thing), so sorry for the delay if anyone is reading this.

The first thing Bobby did upon seeing the three of them was splash holy water on all three of them. He knew right away that all was not well, and didn't need much of an explanation when it came to why they were acting differently.  "So ya pissed off a witch and thought you could get away scotch free?" Even though he didn't say it aloud, Dean could hear the implied 'Idjits'.

  
  
"Have you heard anything about a spell mixing up souls? And how the hell did it effect an angel?" Dean asked Bobby. **_That's what I would like to know._ ** Novak was wide awake and talkitive as all get out, which was making Dean feel another headache coming on.

  
  
"How the hell should I know?" Bobby asked in his usual tone, which was somehow soothing to Dean. At least one aspect of his life had yet to change, which was nice in his never-staying-still life. "Surely you must have heard of some spell or encantation that depicts something akin to this." Cas told Bobby, which made Dean wonder, not for the first time, were he learned to speak English, because the dude was like a walking annoying dictionary.

  
  
"Well I haven't, and don't call me Shirley." Bobby retorted in his usual wit, leaving Cas to try to figure out when he called Bobby a girls name. "I didn't-" He started before Bobby rolled his eyes and walked out of the room to go to his office where most of his lore books were. Dean followed after him, giving Cas a look to say that the old man was joking, but Dean didn't think Cas got what that meant either.

  
  
 ** _If he would watch something other than porn when he was with you two, he might start getting your jokes._** Novak commented, sounding upset about the fact that Dean had inadvertantly gotten Cas into porn. **_My bad dude_** , Dean replied back, knowing that speaking aloud would disrupt Bobby and Sam, who was still trying to get used to the fact that he was shorter now.

  
  
Bobby handed Dean a pile of dusty old books, and yay, this was his favourite part. _Not_. He sat down on the couch off to the side, putting his stack on the coffee table, steeling himself to spend the rest of the day researching. Sam and Cas did the same, which was odd seeing Cas do this, because, despite him being a bajillion years old or whatnot, he was really impatient when it came to stuff like this.

  
  
Cas popped a squat next to Dean, leaving Sam to pull the chair up to the coffee table so he could use it as well. Bobby switched from surfing the books to calling people up. It was only when Dean was on his fourth line of text that was saying something about the Salem witch trials or whatever that he remembered James. James Frampton.

 

 ** _Who is this 'James Frampton'?_** Novak asked him, reading his thoughts, which was totally unfair, because Dean didn't know how to block him out at all.

  
  
"Hey, Sam," He called to himself, which would take a lot of getting used to. "James Frampton." He said and Sams face lit up. "We could track him down and ask." He said, his face breaking out into a smile, which looked awkward to Dean, who hadn't really seen himself smile. At least, not in a while.

  
  
"Who in the Sam Hell is James Frampton?" Bobby asked, calling attention towards his desk.

  
  
"He's this cop turned witch, or is it wizard, that we know." Dean told him, getting off the couch to get the one book that he knew of that would help in tracking down the guy. Before he could get to it, however, he heard a flutter of wings, and Sam's body was gone. "Dammit Cas." Dean muttered, he was rather hoping that the angel wouldn't know that he could just go off like that.

  
  
They waited a couple of minutes before Cas reappeared, but he wasn't alone. Portia was in dog form and biting his leg, while Cas was man-handeling James by the collar of his shirt. "What are you doing Sam? And how did you just teleport us?" James was asking, struggling to get away from Cas' death grip. Portia growled even more, before letting go of Sam's leg and stepping back so she could turn into her human form.

  
  
"That isn't Sam, James." She told her lover. Cas shoves James forward before turning to Dean and Sam. "I am sorry for my hastiness, but I thought it would be to the relief of us all if we got back to our normal vessels." James was looking at Cas as though it was he who just turned from dog to human.

  
  
"What is going on?" James asked, his shirt still rumpled from where Cas was holding him. Sam stepped forward. "James, it's good to see you. How have you-" Dean rolled his eyes.

  
  
"Cut the manners crap, Sam. James, we have a situation going on here." Dean interrupted, walking towards James. "To save time, I'll cut to the chase, we," Dean gestured to himself, Sam and Cas, "all got our souls jumbled or something and are now in each others bodies."

  
  
James took this in with a calm face, looking between the three, his eyes never quite settleing on any one person. "And you drug me away from my vacation without warning because....?" He asked, which was when Dean noticed his and Portias state of dress.

  
  
"Cas, did you- were they- what did you pull them from, exactly?" Dean questioned, a small smile forming on his lips, because if this is what he thought it was, then this was freaking hilarious and would make his day a thousand times better.

  
  
"They were imitating the pizza man." Cas said, a blank look on his face as if they were talking about food or whatever else was their norm. Sam looked as if he was a few seconds away from bursting a vein in his neck, and Bobby even had an amused gleam in his eye.

  
  
"So you want James to give you the reverse spell to get back to your original bodies." Portia said after a minute of akward silence, getting everybody back on track. "Yes." Sam responded, walking up to her and offering his hand. "How have you been Portia?" He asked her, and Dean could've sworn he saw his little brother use his body to bend down to her hand and kiss it lightly.

  
  
After that James came clean and said that he wasn't into that sort of magic, but he knew someone who might know of the spell they were speaking about. "But I don't know if there is such a powerful magic that would fully disrupt an angels grace and displace it in another body. That one's new to me." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

  
  
Cas said that they would have to take the Impala this time, because, despite the fact that he was all there, his grace did not respond well to Sam's 'vessel'. They all piled in, Dean telling Portia to stay in her human form so she wouldn't leave dog hair everywhere. That put her, James and Bobby in the back of the car, with Sam, Dean and Cas smushed in between the two in the front. "This is not plesant." Cas said, which summed it up for everyone nicely.  
  



	4. Heks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet James' contact and Dean throws-up.
> 
> Quote:  
> "He could no longer feel his little Dean, or Jimmy's you-know-what either. "

Heks Vakker was a woman. A _hot_ woman. She was 5 feet 9 inches of hot, and Dean couldn't help himself when he checked her out. Sam didn't looked too happy about it, but when was he ever. Which was when Dean remembered that he wasn't in his body and that he better not pull anything. Heks pulled out a huge huge, ginormous huge, book that was even dustier than the shelf itself, once she heard about their situation.

  
  
She didn't even bat an eye when they told her they had switched souls. It was as if she got this sort of situation every other Tuesday or something. She leafed through the bigg ass pages, her hot rod red fingernail trailing after where she was reading. If Dean had to sum her up in a sentence he would simply say: Imagine the scariest witch you've ever seen, and then make her look like a goddess. And that wouldn't come close to how hot she was.

  
  
Heks was muttering to herself in Nordic, which Dean only knew because Novak told him. "I might be a while, so you can go sit down or walk around or something." She told the group, who were just standing there looking at her akwardly, her accent heavy, yet pleasant.

  
  
Dean decided to walk around New York City, seeing as how he had never really gotten a chance to before when he was hunting. Cas and Sam tagged along with him, seeing as how none of them trusted the other with their bodies. **_Cas is just worried I'll tell you his secret._** Novkak supplied to Dean, which didn't really help the fact that Dean was trying not to infringe on Cas' privacy as much as possible.

  
  
They walked around the big ass park they had in the middle fo the city, which was absurd to Dean, because the whole point of a city was buildings and houses, not shrubery and ponds. He didn't make much fuss about it though, because it was pretty, even if there were more people here than he had seen as a collective. Not even when Lillith was after them did they see this many people.

  
  
They had just sat down on a nech when Sam got a call. He turned it on speaker so that Dean and Csa could listen in. "Hey Bobby, what happened?" Sam asked.

  
  
"The witch wants to know if any of you were feeling different last night. Anything uncharacteristic, or unusual."

  
  
"Cas was hungry." Dean told him, thinking back to the night of the fight.

  
  
"Dean was more agitated than usual." Cas added, his head tilting to the side as he was thinking.

  
  
"I wasn't hungry," Sam chimed in. "I'm still not that hungry." He added, wondering if this was part of the curse or whatever.

  
"Shit." Bobby said with no further information. They decided to get up and start heading back to the shop where Heks  worked, because this definitly did not sound good.

  
  
It took them only a couple of minutes to reach the shop after Bobby hung up on them, telling them to get their asses into gear and high-tail it back. Dean was the first to arrive, Cas tripping on every invisible hand on the way, and what Sam's excuse was, he didn't really know.

  
  
"What? What's the curse?" He asked as soon as he was in the building. Surprisingly enough, Cas was the one to make it back before Sam did, but Dean couldn't really think about that right now.

  
  
Bobby turned his gaze towards them, the look in his eye not making Dean feel any better. "It's a very powerful, very old curse. It calls upon the great goddesses and gods of the old." Heks started as Sam came wheezing his way into the store. Dean didn't know why he was so out of breath, but it made it look like his body was out of shape.

  
  
"You decide to run a marathon or something?" Dean asked him.

  
  
"Th-. Wa-. A. De-. Mo-." Sam panted, sounding winded as he placed his hands on his knees. Dean still wasn't used to seeing his body do things he wasn't used to doing, and him out of breath is one of them. "There was a demon who jumped you?" Cas asked, more on point, and how he could understand Sam through all that was amazing. All Sam did was nod instead of wasting more breath.

  
  
"If I can finish," Heks interrupted, looking rightously pissed off, which only added to her hotness level. "These goddesses and gods are so old, even Death has forgotten about them." Dean had to whistle at that one, because Death and he were good pals, and he had a mind like an elephant.

  
  
"Only they have the power to control souls like this. It is not something a random witch with low grade powers can do." James pipped up, to which Heks nodded in her approval. "Even I could not perform such a ritual. The Old Ones would incenerate me the moment before I started." Heks told them. Dean thought she looked like a very capable witch, so if she was saying that, then James was correct, this was no random witch.

  
  
"Do you know of anyone who could do such a ritual?" Bobby asked, moving forward to take a look at the spell and all its ingredients. Heks shook her head. "The only way this were to happen, is if the Old Ones were beginning to stir and are testing those they think are acceptable for their new world." Heks said ominously.

  
  
"Uh, I've never heard of these 'Old Ones', so why would they choose us?" Sam, who finally caught his breath, asked from behind Cas. Dean turned to look at him, seeing if his body got any dents in it during the demon fight.

  
  
Heks shook her head again. "And you would not, seeing as how no one was alive when they decided to sleep. And pray that they are still sleeping, for the new world that they speak of is of one where their reign is mighty and the few they choose are allowed to live. The chosen are the only ones they can communicate with." Heks was not helping Deans flopping stomach. He felt like his insides were trying to come out to see the world, and he was not agreeing with this.

  
 ** _Ask her what kind of tests she means._** Novak told Dean, which got himm off of his stoamch thing for a little bit. "What do you mean by them testing us?" He asked, his voice going all gurgle-ly as a wet burp hit him. He felt it was unfair that only he had to deal with the bodily pains. As the world tilted slightly to the left, Dean figured it was a good time to sit down and went slowly to the seat next to where Portia was sitting in dog form.

  
  
Heks' eyes began to light up, her fascination overpowering her fear of what them switching souls would mean. She walked up to Dean and began to check every orfice he had on his face, and even going so far as to check his belly button. Cas was ignored in the background as he objected to this invasion of privacy on his vessel. Dean, on the other hand, was feeling too sick to do anything other than hold back to puke that was threatening to make its way up his throat.

  
  
Portia put her nose on his hand as a sign of comfort, which he smiled a little at. Heks, done with her search, seemed dissapointed. "It is not as I thought. The Old Ones remain asleep still." Her voice seemed downfallen, but Sam and Bobby seemed relieved that this was not another apocalypse. James dissapeared with Portia to the back of the store, saying he would look through the other books she had back there.

  
  
Cas came over to Dean, who was still feeling nauseous. "You going to poke and prod me too?" He asked as his brothers body loomed over him. Cas just ignored him, settling for just looking at him. It was odd that his brother was doing something so obviously Cas-like, but since when had his life been normal? Dean started to think that the fates hated him. Which is when he retched. No one moved for a couple of seconds, Cas staring down at the puke on his shoes, but the rest of the group currently in the room, had turned their attention to Dean, who felt infinetly better.

  
"What are you looking at?" Dean asked them, but his voice said it all. He looked down to see his chest was not as flat as he was used to. Instead, two perky boobs sat there, bouncing slightly as he moved to check out the rest of himself. He could no longer feel his little Dean, or Jimmy's you-know-what either. He was a fucking woman. "Aw shit." Dean sighed, putting his hands up to his head.

  
  
Sam and Cas dropped to the floor, and where Deans body used to be was replaced with Sams body, which meant that Cas fell, face-first, into a pile of Dean's throw up. Lovely.


	5. 5,318,008

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all have boobs and nobodies as happy as Dean.
> 
> Quote:  
> " "Hey, look Samantha! You've got a ghetto booty!" "

Cas then switched places with Sam's body, who then proceeded to turn into a girl like Dean had, except without all the nausea and throw-up, although his hair was getting the throw-up bit.

  
  
Bobby and Dean pulled Sam away from the mess, cleaned him up and set him, along with a still unconcious girl Cas, onto the other set of chairs on the opposite wall. "Why is it that I'm the only one to experience pain here?" Dean wondered aloud as he straightened Sam's shirt so that it didn't make his new body as obvious.

  
  
"Sam ran into a demon and fell into your throw-up." Bobby pointed out. Heks was in the background muttering to herself. Dean shrugged, and then felt something itchy on the back of his neck. He went to scratch it, only to realize that it was his hair that had grown out under the spells influence. From what he could tell, his hair reached to his shoulder blades, and was making him feel very uncomfortable about this whole thing.

  
"How the hell am I supposed to pee?" He asked Bobby, who looked at him with his 'Idjit, please' face. "Who do I look like, your fairy godmother?" Dean just huffed at that, feeling very annoyed that he wouldn't be able to pee for a while. "It was just a question," He mumbled to himself, crossing his arms, and then uncrossing them just as quickly as he felt his boobs against his arms.

  
  
At least he was back in his regular body and in his own clothes, instead of Cas' stupid, un-hygenic trech coat. It was then that Sam started to stir, which drew Dean's attention, him not wanting to miss the look on his face when Sam realized that he was a chick now. This was going to be good.

 

"Ugh, my head." Sam sighed, putting a hand to his temple. 

  
"Well, thats what you get when you fall face first on the floor." Dean replied, leaning down in his face to see if there was any damage that he failed to miss. Sam looked at him with wide eyes and then looked again, blinking huge owl-like blinks. He then turned pale and Dean smiled, knowing that his little brother had caught on. "Hey Samantha." Dean teased as he straightened, a smirk stretching across his face.

  
"Look, we've got boobs!" Dean told him. sticking his chest out as if to wave them in Sam's face. Bobby sighed off to the side, his frustration could be felt across the room, but it did little to pertube Dean's happy-go-lucky mood which just appeared out of nowhere.

  
Cas, like last time, was the last to awaken, but unlike Sam, he knew something was wrong before he even laid eyes on Dean or Sam. "Why do I possess a bossom now?" He said as he looked down at his own pair of breasts. "Holy cow, Cas. You've got some honkers." Dean said before he could stop himself.

  
Cas looked up at him with his big blue eyes in non-understanding, the way his long hair shaped his face making him look angelic, which was a sort of irony, wasn't it? Dean's breath hitched, and he had to look away, focusing instead on Sam, who had more hair than cousin It, which Dean didn't fail to mention to him.

  
"Shut up Dean!" Sam yelled back, blushing furiously and ducking his head a little to hide in his massive amount of hair.

  
"Is this another part to the encantation we were hit with by those witches?" Cas asked, unpertubed by the brother's back and forth banter. Dean nodded at him.

  
"Well, if this chick flick is done with, we still have to find out what the hell happened to you three, so.." Bobby stated, gesturing towards the back of the shop where Portia and James went off to and to where Heks was dissappearing to next.

  
As Sam stood up, Dean could not help but notice his rather large daire-air. "Hey, look Samantha! You've got a ghetto booty!" Dean, who was enjoying this far to much for Sam's taste, shouted. Sam just kept on walking, putting his hands over his butt to prevent Dean from looking at it as they went to join James and them.

  
Dean just leaned on Cas' shoulder, wondering if he should ask what was on his mind or not. "I believe you have a querry for my Dean." Cas said as he pulled Dean back from the group, the hall being dimly lit as Bobby and Sam turned a corner to the back. Dean sighed.

  
"I was just wondering if Jimmy is still there." Despite being annoying, Dean did miss Jimmy's constant insight on things. Plus, he was still curious as to what Cas' secret could be. While Jimmy offered to tell him, Dean felt it was too personal to give in and say yes. Now that he was out of his body, though, he wished he had given in.

  
Cas seemed taken aback by this. "He is not. I believe that when this vessel changed genders, Jimmy's subconsious inhabited another dimesion. This proves that the incantation may be powerful, but it is not so powerful as to infuse a male soul and an angel into one female body. This is good news." Cas perked up, rushing off into the other room to tell Heks his newfound revelation.

  
Dean stayed in the hallway a little longer, trying to get his emotions in check. Despite your current situation, you are not a girl, so suck it up! So what if Cas is pretty as a girl, you do not like guys! Dean yelled in his mind, trying to repeat this as a mantra. With another sigh, he went to join the others in the back of the shop.


End file.
